From Midwife to Birth Partner

Supporting My Friend in Labour

As a midwife, I have spent years guiding women through pregnancy and birth, providing clinical care, reassurance and evidence-based information to help them make informed choices. But recently, I had the privilege of supporting a close friend through her labour - not as her midwife, but as her birth partner. Stepping out of my professional role and into a purely supportive one was a deeply eye-opening experience, one that reinforced the power of advocacy, emotional support, and truly holding space for someone in labour.

Stepping Out of the Midwife Role

As midwives, we are trained to observe, assess and intervene when necessary. Our role is both clinical and emotional - we provide medical care while also offering reassurance, education and guidance. But walking into that birth space as a friend rather than a healthcare professional meant letting go of my usual responsibilities.

I wasn’t there to assess her contractions or check her observations. I wasn’t making decisions about her care or guiding her through medical options. Instead I was there purely to support and advocate - to help her feel safe, grounded and in control.

At first, this shift felt unfamiliar. I’m used to being the one with the answers, the one anticipating what might come next. But this wasn’t my birth to facilitate; it was hers to experience. My role was to trust her, remind her of her own strength, and ensure that her wishes were heard and respected.

Advocacy Over Advice

One of the biggest differences I noticed was the shift from educator to advocate. As a midwife I spend a lot of time giving information - helping parents to understand their options, explaining what is happening in their bodies, and ensuring they feel informed about their choices. But in this space, my friend didn’t need more information; she just needed someone to hold space for her decisions.

She had already done her own research, attended Hypnobirthing classes, she knew what she wanted and she had made choices that felt right for her birth. My job wasn’t to tell her what was best but to stand beside her and make sure she was heard. When she asked for a moment to make a decision, I was there to reinforce that she had the right to take her time. When she needed encouragement, I reminded her that she was strong & capable.

It was a powerful reminder that birth isn’t about professionals making decisions - it’s about women feeling empowered to make their own. My role wasn’t to offer clinical advice; it was to amplify her voice.

The Emotional Shift

I’ve been present at countless births, i’ve seen the incredible strength of women, the intensity of labour, and the raw emotions that come with bringing a baby into the world. But this birth felt different because, for the first time, I was experiencing it with my whole heart, without the clinical detachment that comes with professional responsibility.

There were moments where I felt an instinct to step in - to offer reassurance in a way I would with a patient, to anticipate what the midwife might say next. But I had to remind myself that this wasn’t my role here. I wasn’t the midwife. I wasn’t responsible for her care. And that meant allowing myself to feel everything more deeply.

I felt the weight of every contraction with her, the anticipation in every moment of waiting, the rush of emotions as she neared the end of her labour. I wasn’t just witnessing the birth - I was living it alongside her. And it made it one of the most emotional, powerful experiences I’ve ever had.

The Power of Unwavering Support

This experience reaffirmed something I’ve always believed: birth is about more than medical care - it’s about feeling supported, heard and safe. Whether as a midwife or a birth partner, the most valuable thing we can do is hold space for women, trust them & ensure that their choices are respected.

Stepping back from my usual role gave me a new appreciation for the importance of advocacy, emotional presence, and the deep power of simply being there. It reminded me that sometimes, the most important thing isn’t the knowledge we bring, but the unwavering support that we offer.

I walked away from this experience not just as a midwife, but as a friend deeply in awe of the strength of birth. And it reinforced something I will carry into every birth space that I enter - whether as a midwife or a birth partner, the greatest gift we can give is to truly, wholeheartedly support a woman’s choices.